1. I don’t have anything against Stanford personally but I’m going to wear this shirt with derisive language toward it because it makes me feel like I’m being patriotic to my school.
2. What do you mean Golden Bears are extinct?!
3. Why are there five boba places on the same street?
4. Why is Cal gear so freakin’ expensive?
5. Let’s all exploit our friend with the car.
6. Wanna hear a campanile erection joke?
7. Cal has Quidditch; therefore Cal = Hogwarts.
8. I always talk about going on the Naked Run during dead week, but I NEVER WILL because I am a FILTHY COWARD.
9. Did Oski kill off the last of the Golden Bears? We should all just totally stab Oski.
10. I am literally surrounded by restaurants, and I still can’t decide where I want to eat.
11. I swear more Berkeley students than prepubescent girls have seen ”Frozen.”
12. This is the shirt I wear to themed parties (see what I did there?)
13. Stop arguing about whose Cal ID picture is more washed out.
14. Delete those photos of me with red Solo cups. I said delete them, Heather!!
15. It’s Game Day, so I’m wearing this shirt to be ironic. But I really just want to show off my abs.
Image Sources: CafePress
Contact Lilia Vega at firstname.lastname@example.org.